I just got back from therapy and want to write about this while it was still in my head

I’ve been having a very raw day today (hence my earlier post).

I’ve been working on myself a lot lately and that adds to it, but because I’m sharing and putting myself out there as part of my therapy/recovery/whatever you want to call it, I have compliments coming back.

When I post on the message board and then someone says that I’m helping them or inspiring them, shouldn’t that be a good thing?  You would think so.

What sucks is I love to think that I can help others while helping myself, but then it feels like pressure to have all of the answers and be perfect.

That is what we talked about a lot in therapy.

How when I’m typing these things out and how when I’m talking about them on a message board or responding to someone on the message board, it’s not always because I have the answers or doing what I need to be doing for myself, it’s because I need to tell myself the same thing!

How whenever someone notices my weight loss or healthy eating or something that is going right in my life, that is when I feel the pressure to be perfect, then I go “all or nothing”, and then I self sabotage and gain.  If I can’t be perfect, why am I bothering?

I have to remember that I don’t have to be perfect for me or anyone else.  I don’t have to be someone’s example.  I don’t have to be a leader.  I don’t have to have that pressure.

It’s ok not to be perfect.

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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