Last night I not only avoided a binge, but I ate chocolate mindfully

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my husband came home from a business trip with chocolate:

Yesterday, I had a shitty day at work.  I not only had a meeting where I felt I got a little blindsided, but my emotions ended up showing a bit and I regret some of my actions.  I don’t think I was unprofessional, but I still hold myself to a higher standard.

I think I’m also PMS’ing, which doesn’t help.

I say that I think I’m PMS’ing because I have an IUD and I don’t get my period anymore thanks to it, but I still get some PMS symptoms and there are all there right now.

So when I left work, I felt terrible.  I was doing a lot of circular thinking (kept thinking about what happened over and over again and what I should have done different).  I was feeling a lot of fear and anxiety over being wrong, but also a lot of anger over feeling disrespected.

What I wanted was for all of those feelings to go away.  I didn’t want to talk about them, I just wanted them gone.

In the past, to get rid of them, I would have blown off the gym and gone home and had a big old binge.

I did go to the gym, but I ended up blowing off my TRX class.  

On Wednesdays I normally do Zumba and then TRX, but during Zumba my muscles were hurting, I felt like I had no range of motion, and I was feeling like I had no energy.  I could tell doing a second class at that point was a mistake.

On the way home, with the way my muscles were feeling all stiff and after the shitty day, I decided to treat myself to a massage.

So I went home, quickly ate some dinner and one piece of the chocolate, went to and got their 90 minute service that included 60 minutes Asian body work (TUINA) and a 39 minute reflexology.

Even during the massage, I had to keep bringing my mind back to the present.  It was wonderful for my mind and my body though and just what I needed.  

What I like about TUINA is it’s closer to a sports massage and involves a lot of accupressure.  It’s not quite the relaxing, zen, rubbing experience that some people want from a massage.  If you really want your muscles worked on though, this is for you.

By the time I got home I was a bit more relaxed and tired.  I chose to eat two more pieces of chocolate (three is a serving size) and then went to bed a little more relaxed.

I feel a little better this morning, physically and mentally.  What I’m really happy about though, is I didn’t eat my feelings and I was able to just enjoy a few pieces of chocolate.


About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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One Response to Last night I not only avoided a binge, but I ate chocolate mindfully

  1. A massage sounds like such a great way to redirect all of those feelings in a healthy way! Congrats!

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