Looks like the last time I wrote/blogged, it was last September. I remember reading other weight loss blogs and thinking that I would never let that much time go by.
And then it did.
I’m still where I have been for a while and mentally that is not OK for me.
I talked with my therapist today about it and finally said it out loud that I’ve been avoiding the issues and I need to begin working on my weight again.
When I avoid thinking, talking, writing about my weight, my weight always slowly creeps up.
I’ve been doing some major avoiding too. I haven’t been to the WLS support group in I don’t even know how long.
The email reminder of the group is one of the things that started getting me going on this again mentally. That and the fact that I’m afraid to go to my PCP appointment because I haven’t lost weight and I have actually gained a small amount of weight and I don’t want to deal with what he’ll say.
It’s not like he has ever been mean about it, but we will talk about it.
When we talked about it in therapy, we discussed the biology of things and how my biology is working against me. My body and my brain are so conditioned to overeat that it’s a very difficult change to make.
Thanks to the surgery, I eat a lot less than I did, but I’m back at the point where I still eat too much and when I’m not hungry and that is a problem.
I need to find a way to get to the point where food isn’t the first thing on my mind all of the time and my source of happiness.