Why does 15 pounds seem so overwhelming right now????

I’ve made it past a bunch of great goals thanks to surgery and lifestyle changes.  A couple of my big ones:

50 pounds lost, 75 pounds lost, and being under 250

The next big milestone is 100 pounds lost.  Something that used to seem so completely far away that I couldn’t even imagine it.

With a bit of gain in the fall, It’s now 15 pounds away.  I’ve gotten as close as 6 pounds away.

15 pounds used to seem like nothing and now it seems worlds away.

And it’s not like 100 pounds lost is my goal weight.  I still have easily another 60 pounds away from there (if not more).

To keep from being overwhelming, I do try to only focus on the next small goal.  10 – 20 pounds at a time.

What is it about this goal that feels so unattainable and frustrating to me?  Why do I get so close and then run from it?

Even writing right now seems to be bringing up raw emotions in me.  Anxiety, fear, etc.

Why am I so afraid to succeed?

The good thing about it is I’m working on it and I’m NEVER EVER giving up.

Last year was a surgical year.  Surgery has done what it can for me.

This year is a behavior year.

Not that I haven’t been working on my behavior the whole time, but right now behavior is what I’m focusing on.

I’m currently reading “The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery” by Cynthia Alexander.

I wish I had this book to read before the surgery as it gives you a lot of tips for preparing for the surgery as well.

In this book, in hypnotherapy, and in other areas, I keep reading/hearing/seeing things about positive self talk and what a difference it makes.

I am working on my “can do” attitude, so I can make it to 100 pounds gone and more.


About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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