On Monday night I had a conversation with a friend about another friend.
One of my friends can be a little hard to be with right now. She is obviously going through a hard time and needs some help, but isn't ready/willing/able at this time to get that help for herself.
We all know that nobody can do that for anyone else.
What can be hard is there are a lot of jealousy issues.
I know that I am one of this person's "fat buffers". Because I am larger than her (by about 90lbs), it helps her. The reason the conversation started with the other friend is she asked what was up with the surgery and I opened up about how it sucks that I can't speak to the other friend about it.
Because of the friend's depression, it's really hard to call her on her behavior. It just doesn't seem to do anything or help.
The good thing that came out of this whole thing though and why I am even writing about it is the reminder I got from the friend that I was speaking too.
She reminded me that everything that I have, I worked hard for. Nobody made it happen for me. I didn't wait for it to fall in my lap.
I wanted something and I went after it.
Before I met my husband, I was lonely and wanted to meet someone.
I signed up for Yahoo personals (this was pre match.com) and went on a lot of bad dates. I made sure though that I had a date almost every weekend and sometimes a different guy Friday and Saturday night. I dealt with a lot of rejection and had to do some rejecting, but I eventually met my husband (we both dated someone else at first, but decided we wanted to be friends) and have now been married 10 years.
When it came time to have a child, I was having trouble getting pregnant. I bought ovulation detectors and saw my doctor. I did all sorts of tests and eventually fertility treatments to get pregnant. I didn't give up and I did whatever I had to do to get there. It was a depressing time, I gained 40lbs while trying to get pregnant.
I want to become healthy weight wise. I started therapy for this reason years ago. I have tried numerous weight loss programs (weight watchers, nutrisystem, south beach, etc.). I have gone to seminars (Women, Food and God). I read books about weight loss and the emotional/mental aspects of it. I write here. I have had surgery and will have another surgery.
What do these things have in common? I worked or am working my ass off to get to my goal.
This is something that I can be very proud of and it's a very positive thing about me that I am glad that I was reminded of.