It felt good to go.
I told some of the other people that I'm converting to the sleeve. One woman is trying to push me to a bypass. I told her that I'm not comfortable with the concept of bypass.
So I starting thinking about it. Why aren't I comfortable with the bypass?
I say it's because of the malabsorbtion part of the bypass and that is partially true, but I know in my heart that it's mostly that I want to be able to eat what I want.
Because of that, part of me thinks that maybe I should just go for the bypass instead of the sleeve and hope that I do get dumping syndrome and then I just won't be able to have certain foods.
Part of me still has hope that someday I will be able to have a bite or two of some foods and learn to be "normal".
Malabsortion does scare me though. Having to take supplements because I'm not digesting all of my food is just not appealing to me.
Dr. B seems to be supportive of the sleeve, but I am going to ask his opinion at my next appointment on 12/16.
I did talk to A, who does the surgical scheduling and works with the insurance company. My surgery is currently set for 1/16. The only thing that will change the date is if insurance becomes and issue. Now it's just a waiting game.
I have to admit that I am scared. I'm trying to think positively, but I'm having trouble. It's like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other.
The devil is saying things like:
The band didn't work, so why would this?
The angel is saying:
Good for you for keeping at it. This will work.
It's a big internal battle that I will be discussing at my next therapy session.