I seem to be keeping my zen from my workshop and retreat at Kripalu

I found after spending a weekend away, I am still feeling a lot calmer than I was before the trip.

I'm not letting a lot of things get to me (a few have, but then I got the zen back).

I have eaten every meal since returning from Kripalu sitting down, without external distractions, in a calm environment.  I'm trying to only eat when I am actually hungry and that has been successful so far.

I am not restricting myself though.  The other night after I ate dinner, I really wanted something sweet when I was done.  I measured out half a serving of M&Ms.  Then out of habit, I wanted to go into my bedroom and eat them in front of the tv (which then they would have been gone in one throw into the mouth).  I remembered that I had just finished eating dinner at the kitchen table without distraction and if I really wanted the M&Ms, I would need to do the same.

I was actually trying to eat only one M&M at a time to slow myself down and really taste them, but often ended up with a couple in my mouth (they are so small).

I am proud of myself though because I was truly satisfied and then did not feel agitated the rest of the night.

I don't want to change too much too soon though and get overwhelmed, so'm not going to let the internal distractions while eating bother me.  I figure get used to eating without the external ones first and then work on something new.

Today, while eating my lunch, I turned my chair away from my desk towards my window to look out.  I find that nicer and also keeps me from reaching from the computer or reading things on my desk.  The whole time I had one of my favorite songs from Dropkick Murphys playing in my head.  I did bring myself to be present every couple of bites, but I'm not quite there yet.

Can anyone really truly be present for a whole meal though?

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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One Response to I seem to be keeping my zen from my workshop and retreat at Kripalu

  1. lappymeal says:

    I try to really sit down with my food and concentrate on eating it. I find that if I don’t, I don’t feel like I really ‘ate’ at all. I know it’s all in my head, but I have founf it helpful!

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