Notes from Women, Food and God Workshop: Friday 7:30 PM – 9:00 PM

This entry is going to contain a lot of notes, throughts, quotes, etc. that I wrote down during the first night's session of the workshop.

My first impression of Geneen Roth:

Short and cute.  Teeny.  Cute, girly voice.

She talked about how we should take a moment to arrive.  See what it's really like to be me.  Look around the room like a baby looks.  Really stare and take in things.

Noticing, allowing, welcoming feelings.

Real change doesn't have from force, shame, guilt, etc.

Every diet leads to a binge.  How do you stop the cycle?

Until I figure out what I am using food for…

Assume that you are sane.  Assume what you are doing makes sense.

If I can have it and it's not forbidden, then why do I want it.

Giving up dieting scares me personally.  I want to buy into her eating guidelines, but I am afraid that if I do it won't work and I will gain more weight.

Why am I at this retreat?  What am I hoping to accomplish?

We were divided up into groups of four to do an exercise.  We were to use active listening (only listening, no commenting) while eat person answers the following four questions:

1.  What do I know that I don't want to know about your relationship with food?
2.  Why did I come to this workshop?
3.  Why did I really come to this workshop?
4.  A decision I made a long time ago that is still affecting my relationship with food.

My answers:

1.  What do I know that I don't want to know about your relationship with food?

Food makes me happy.  Restriction and control are not the answer.

2.  Why did I come to this workshop?

To learn.  To change.  To be "normal".  For it to finally click.

3.  Why did I really come to this workshop?

Desperation.  Grasping at straws to find the answer within myself to stop eating.

4.  A decision I made a long time ago that is still affecting my relationship with food.

Food is my friend, my confidant.  It is always there for me.

One of the people in my group is a bulemic.  It's not that I didn't know that there were bulemics and anorexics in the world, it's just that I don't think about their issues being similar to mine.  I didn't expect that a book on compulsive eating that might help with my issues, might help with theirs as well.

Listening to her story was like listening to the opposite of mine.  How she became a bulemic so she could fit in with the popular crowd, where as I ate because I never was part of the popular crowd. 

It reminded me that when I look at someone who I think has it all, they might be hurting just as much as me.  Skinny people have food issues too.

My relationship with food is an open door, not a wall.

For every diet, there is an equal and opposite binge.

I am always protecting myself rom losses that already happened and are over with.

How do I get my own life back?

Being thin does not address the emptiness.

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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