So I ended up getting another fill today

It was a really emotional one for me. It’s hard not to feel like a failure. It’s hard to recognize that I’m still suceeding.

Dr. B was great. I was up about 10 pound from my last visit according to his scale.

We talked about all of the things that I am doing.

I write.
I go to therapy.
I go to support groups.
I go to Heart and Wellness.
I exercise.
I read books about compulsive eating.
I try to find things to do to keep me busy so I don’t eat out of boredom.

We talked about how I am seeking help and my issue is behavioral, but I might not have reached that “sweet spot” with the band yet. How some people just need the band and some people need the max fill.

I did tell him about the Geneen Roth retreat that I’m going to this weekend.

Even though I have not “changed”, it feels good to at least verbalize all that I am doing to try to change and recognize that it is that behavioral change that is still the key.

We also discussed that it will be good to give the band a total of 1 1/2 years to 2 years before considering other options.

I think I am PMS’ing (it’s sometimes hard for me to tell since I’m on Mirena and don’t actually get my period anymore), but I’m definitely more emotional than usual and have had some sick cravings over the weekend.

I have maintained a 40lb loss though and that is still a step in the right direction. I’ve gotten really good at maintaining and now it’s time to start losing again.

So now I’m on liquids again for 48 hours.

One thing that was nice is I thought I was going to miss my Zumba class at the gym and be forced to use the elliptical (which I find very boring). Dr. B usually runs late, but he was running relatively on time today so I made it to my class.

About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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2 Responses to So I ended up getting another fill today

  1. alicroc says:

    while i don’t have the same behavioral issues that you have….just know..that yes…sometimes it takes slower for some people. Took me 3 years to lose 60lbs…but…i wouldn’t have lost anything had i not had the band…so i’m ok with it. 20lbs a year since i had surgery. I’m ok with 20lbs a year.
    Keep up all you’re doing

  2. nwhiker says:

    You know what?
    You’re down from the band. You’,re exercising (yay for making that class!), and, perhaps more importantly, you are so very self-aware.
    It might take a long time to get down to where you want to go, but you seem so very… cognizant of the what you need to do, and more importantly, how you need to change behaviours to be able to do that. That, to me, is immense.
    You’re part of the reality based weight loss community. And that, I think, is a good place to be when it comes to long term outcomes, health outcomes, and also personal success.
    Good luck!

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