Yesterday, I felt slightly good about myself, today not so much

Yesterday, I was wearing a really cute outfit and I got compliments and felt great.  I felt cute.

Today, I just feel huge.

I talked with my therapist today about how overwhelmed I have been since my husband has been away.  I just have not had any time for myself and that is a problem when it comes to my weight loss.

I am going on vacation next week, but will be returning on the Saturday night before I go back to work.  I already plan to dedicate Sunday, July 31st to food shopping and preparing for a week of healthy eating.

This week I am just going to do my best to make better choices. 

Tonight is Mom’s night out and I am going to go and enjoy everyone’s company.

Wednesday I will go to Aqua Zumba.

Thursday I will go to Zumba.

Friday I will be doing my last day of work before a vacation so that day will probably be hectic.

Saturday is my son’s 3rd birthday, again I will just continue to try to make good choices.

Sunday my husband and I go to Mohegan to see Daniel Tosh, I will continue to try to make some good choices.

Then we drive down to Sesame Place.

I think all I can muster up the strength to do right now is just try to be mindful of eating out and eating on the run.

I was so sad this morning when I jumped on the scale.  I am angry that I feel that the "band is not working", but I can’t blame the band.  I can only blame myself.

I want this to be easy and it is never going to be easy.

Sometimes I think that I should have done the bypass or the sleeve.  It would have been "easier", right?

Why can’t I just do this?  Why?

Just thinking about this makes me want to cry.  I am at work though so unfortunately I can’t let my emotions out.

I need to start focusing more on myself again though and making sure that I am not letting myself just get away with taking the easy way out.


About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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2 Responses to Yesterday, I felt slightly good about myself, today not so much

  1. lappymeal says:

    You aren’t failing anything. Don’t worry. This is a long, long race. Keep your eyes on the short term, ie your goals, and all will be well. You’ve come a long way. Beating yourself up about your numbers only hurts.

  2. jen4018 says:

    It’s really hard to stay focused. I think I remember you talking about church on here once. Have you heard of the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst? It’s basically about when we are craving bad foods we are really just craving God. I just started reading it and I’ve learned so much already. If you believe in God I highly recommend it.

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