I’m having a bad day

I just want to go home, curl up under the covers and cry.

I think it’s PMS.  It’s hard to know since I have Mirena and don’t get my period every month anymore.

I did not eat well yesterday even though I planned to.  I blew off my plan and got really good Indian food.  I ate some for lunch and then finished it off for dinner.  Then after dinner I had some girl scout cookies.

I know that I need to work on the head game and making the right choices, but when I don’t I need the band there to help me and stop me from eating so much.  I still feel like I can eat way too much.

I’m not supposed to see my surgeon again until April 14th, but I’m going to see if I can get in earlier because I want another fill.  I think I need to be tighter.  I can tell that I’m on my way to a downward spiral and if I keep being able to eat as much as I can, I will keep eating this much and I will keep gaining.

I need to work on the self control, but the reason that I have the band is I know the self control is not there and I need help.

Today is supposed to be my last day in my post op program.  It really sucks to be going into my "graduation" day with a gain.  Makes me really sad.

The good news is I did fight the urge to go through Dunkin Donuts drive throught this morning and did eat my planned breakfast.

I have to fight against the urge to go down to the cafeteria for lunch and eat my planned lunch.

My husband is currently away and that doesn’t help.  Although even when he is home, it doesn’t always stop me from overeating.

*sigh*  Hopefully I can get out of this funk soon.

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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One Response to I’m having a bad day

  1. daa_zle says:

    I think when we have a bad day or two we tend to look at all the negatives. On today, your graduation day, think of all the Positive changes and outcomes that have taken place since you started the program.
    Think back to November 1st, and now, look at all your accomplishments.
    I know it’s not easy to feel positive when you are feeling so negative, but hopefully self realization will kick in and get you out of the funk!
    BTW I will miss you at the Program, I have 2 left after today.

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