For those who don’t think people notice your weight loss

I had a reminder today that they do, but often don’t say anything.

I was at a quarterly meeting with other patient safety/risk management people in the Boston area today.  A lot of them have not seen me since the summer and I am 42lbs lighter.

Only one person said something to me and she knew that I had the surgery.

Then after the meeting we were talking and I said that I missed the last meeting because I had surgery and the person asked if I was ok and I said something like, "oh it was just lapband" (like it’s minor or something, I don’t know why I shrug it off).   Then she said how she had noticed my weight loss, but didn’t know if I would be comfortable with her saying anything.

So on the drive back to Salem, I was thinking about it.  I do only hear feedback from people who know that I’ve had the surgery.

I am very open about my surgery.   I didn’t think I would be and I was embarrassed about it when I first started the process, but now I’ll talk about it with anyone.  I’m a very open person in general.

I do think it’s funny that people are afraid that it will embarrass you if they tell you they notice you have lost weight.  I’ve never been upset to hear that I’m looking smaller, healthier, skinnier, etc.  Maybe there are people out there that do get upset.

I do think that it’s better not to say something at all if you don’t know how the person will react.

So next time you get to a milestone or lose a significant amount and no one is saying anything, know that it’s not because they haven’t noticed, it might be they are afraid to offend.

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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One Response to For those who don’t think people notice your weight loss

  1. nwhiker says:

    Telling someone they’re lost weight is also, in a way, telling them that before they weighed more. Yeah, I know, obvious, but it’s a pretty big step. Most people -fat and thin- don’t like to be reminded of bad hair days, the few or more than few extra pounds we carried around etc, so saying ‘oh, you’ve lost weight!’ is moving into the arena of uncomfortable.
    I’ve lost 105lbs, and it was only about 10 days ago that a woman at my daughter’s gym said anything to me. She sees me more than once a week, and she’d been noticing for a while (actually was able to pinpoint when I started losing)… but it was only know that she felt ok saying something.

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