I just want to eat and eat and eat and eat and then eat some more

I can’t get it off my mind.

It’s been a bad week at home.

My son has been sick since Monday.  We had our second doctor’s visit yesterday and it’s still a virus.  Ears are fine, lungs are fine, throat is fine.  He does have a bad cough and a runny nose.  They even swabbed him for the flu and that is negative.  Just a constant fever and cough and now a rash on his face.  All viral.  We were sent home with instructions to call on Sunday if the fever is still there.

My husband is now sick as well.  His fever hit 103 in the middle of the nigh!  It’s now down to 99.9 (they were both 99.9 this morning).  So now, I have two sickies to take care of.  It sucks.

This morning, when going for my cereal, I thought to myself that I won’t measure, I’ll just have a nice big bowl of chocolate cheerios.  No one will  know, right?  I definitely had to force myself to measure.

My husband and I talked about me going out with friends tonight after our son goes to bed since he is probably just going to sleep anyway.  What is the first thing I thought of?  What can I go out and eat?

Will I ever get to a place where leaving the house doesn’t involve thinking of food?  Will I ever get to a place where food isn’t the cure for boredom? happiness? sadness? depression? etc.?

I do have appointments at noon and 1 PM today that I’m going to.  Even then I was thinking about what food I can get while I’m out.

I have to keep repeating to myself that food is nutrition and is not going to help the situation or make anything better.

I did promise my husband that I would take the overripe bananas and make him banana bread today so I am going to look up cookinglight.com recipes and see what I can find that won’t be so bad.

Wish me luck! 

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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2 Responses to I just want to eat and eat and eat and eat and then eat some more

  1. nwhiker says:

    I have to keep repeating to myself that food is nutrition and is not going to help the situation or make anything better.
    You know… I don’t think we really can. Because food, for humans, is so much more than just enough calories to survive.
    BUT! =there had to be a BUT!=
    We can learn to use food, I think, for the good parts of human sharing, the Thanksgivings, and the weddings, and the celebration of family, everyone sitting down to a meal. And learn to NOT use it for the more negative human emotions, eating out of frustration, or boredom or whatever.
    The things is… carbs do make you feel better. 😛 That is why it is so tempting to eat when you’re down. That doesn’t mean you have to, but acknowledging that, acknowledging that human beings, fat AND thin, do eat to make themselves feel better should alleviate the guilt.
    Long winded way, I think, of saying that it’s human to want to push back sadness, and celebrate with food. Don’t feel guilty for that… it doesn’t mean you have to, or that you should, but that needing and wanting to eat when you feel cruddy is normal, and most people do it.
    One of my favourite bloggers on the subject of fat/dieting etc. Dr Arya Sharma wrote this, which struck me as very true (bolding mine):
    We need to remember that in modern society, eating is not simply about survival. We use food for comfort and for celebration and, with the exception of religious prohibitions, there should be no forbidden foods. If your patient cannot use food to comfort or celebrate, or if they consider certain foods “forbidden,” then they are likely on a diet, and unfortunately diets are known to fail over 95% of the time. For sustainable weight management, a patient should be consuming the smallest number of calories that still allows them to enjoy each day. Some days will simply warrant more calories, such as birthdays, anniversaries, religious holidays, and days when injuries, illness or fights with loved ones occur. Simply put, ice-cream and cookies and their cultural and ethnic equivalents are vital parts of a rich life experience.
    Good luck finding a good balance. You’re doing SO freaking well, I’m sure you will. Which doesn’t make TODAY any easier, of course.

  2. daa_zle says:

    I hope everyone is feeling better.
    I know the feeling about going out and eating…
    I went out to eat Saturday night for dinner, and it was the first time since October!
    Mexican.. it was hard to resist a margarita, but I did!
    Have you been able to work out?

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