I’m feeling really out of control right now

It’s amazing to me that I seem to be able to stay in control of my eating for so long and then one or two days of relaxing and I’m completely out of control again.

Things are slowly getting better and the calorie counts are going down, but I still feel like I’m able to eat too much and want to snack way too much.

I did really well at work yesterday even though I gave into having 2 ghiradelli squares that were in the kitchen.  At least they are gone today so that temptation is gone.  When I’m at work has never been the problem.  As long as I pack my lunch and stay busy I’m usually fine.  I even got in a lot of water at work yesterday.

When I got home, I just wanted to eat and eat and then eat some more.   Normally when I am going to a 7 PM class at the gym, I eat dinner when I get home so I don’t have to eat so early, but considering my urge, I ate dinner thinking that might help a bit.  I’m sure it did, but I still ate some candy and a yogurt after eating my dinner.

I did at least go to Aqua Zumba and I really enjoyed being there.  I have my regular Zumba class tonight and I’m looking forward.  The Wednesday and Thursday classes at the gym are my favorite of the week so I don’t like to miss them.

As soon as I got home, I decided to take a long bath and then wash my hair thinking that would help me from munching.  Stay busy right?

It did help a little, but I still ended up munching a bit on some kashi crackers and then some hot chocolate.

It’s not even what I’m eating, it’s how out of control I feel when I’m eating it.  I think I’m going to have to white knuckle it through a few days until I’m back into some better habits.

I’ll be at the gym tonight until 8:15 at least so by the time I get home, I won’t have long until I go to sleep.  Maybe I’ll bring my stuff to shower at the gym to keep me there later.

So far at work I’m doing well today.  I have only eaten what I planned and I’m feeling full.  I’m drinking a lot of herbal tea and I think that is helping.

Tomorrow will be a challenge as it is New Year’s Eve and I have people coming over.  One of my other friends is trying not to overeat as well though so that might make things easier.  I don’t plan on buying a lot of munchies.

We are going to order Chinese food and I actually really like the chicken and brocolli from the place we are ordering so that won’t be too bad.

I just really need to get my shit together.  One week until I see the surgeon again and can get a fill.

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About nancykerins

I am a 38 year full time working mother of one doing my best to get healthy. I had lapband surgery in November of 2010 and then had a revision to the vertical gastric sleeve in February 2012. The purpose of this blog is a therapeutic tool for me to work out my feelings and write about what is going on during this experience. If I can help others through this blog, that is just a bonus.
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2 Responses to I’m feeling really out of control right now

  1. lappymeal says:

    Is this your first fill? I can’t remember…
    In either case, you’re going to feel soooo much better after.

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